Maybe it's a case of denial. Maybe I thought if I ignored it, it wouldn't come. But last night, the night before a truly monumental event in my life, I decided it was time to prepare for my first chemo day. That's right...I said the night before and time to prepare in the same sentence.
It's been a bit like preparing for a wedding, only without the cake, and punch. This event has involved, and will continue to involve, countless appointments with a wide variety of experts and planners, lots of internet research, plenty of sleepless nights, and free advice and encouragement from everyone (I am NOT complaining about this...that's my favorite part). Oh, and plenty of bills to pay. (See? Just like a wedding.) So, now that this most important day is finally here, I decided I'm not quite ready.
I know this will come as a shock to many, but I pulled similar procrastinative (is that even a word?) stunts as an ignorant college freshman. I frequently crammed the night before my exams. Last night = flashback to the past.
I blame this all on my first roommate, Suzetta. I adored Suzetta (and still do). However, unlike me, Suzetta was a speed reader and, well...just plain brilliant. She always waited until the night before to study, sooo...so did I. Monkey see, monkey do. She got straight A's. I did not. I was too busy having fun and NOT studying to try the responsible study-a-little-every-night technique.
Thanks to this tendency to procrastinate in preparation for something I don't want to do, last night, at about 10:00, I decided I needed to accomplish two things: de-germ the bathroom and read the tome of information they gave me concerning cancer, chemo, and the works. I cleaned toilet, sink, tub, and even washed the shower curtain liner. I meant to buy a new one, since reading that this is recommended for chemo patients due to the bacteria they harbour, but somehow that didn't get purchased. I guess I was doing other things. So, into the washing machine it went, with a little soap and bleach. Bye bye, bacteria. Easy peasy. I did purchase a toothbrush sanitizer from Amazon several days ago; I guess I should have also ordered the liner from them. See, I didn't forget everything.
Once things were clean to my liking, I settled in to read through the notebook given to me by my oncologist, Dr. Beck. Thankfully, that was a quick read since I discovered I already knew most of it, thanks to Dr. Google.
I really was ready for the big day, but just didn't feel that way last night. Suddenly I was out of time and I still had a few more undone items on my list...like sanitize my entire house. That one had to be let go. Not gonna happen.
So, yes, last night I crammed for my chemo event and I think I did pretty well. (The real test comes in the next few days.) I'll fill you in on the fun time we had in tomorrow's posting. You'll be so jealous.