It’s amazing how much better this week was than the last. Even with finding out the major change in my treatment plan, it’s been a very good week. I think a bit of divine intervention made all the difference. Truly I do. Thanks to so many of you who were lifting me up in prayer. I’ve had peace and tranquility and restful nights. Amazing.
I think the toughest part of this week may have been telling my students that I will have to miss most of the second quarter of school. I will miss them terribly.
Another thing that’s been tough this week has been explaining to some of my students that the chemo that we all (students included) put our hope and faith in has done nothing for me. As one astute young 5th grade gentleman stated, “so you’ve been through all this sickness and missing school and lost your hair for NOTHING!?” Yep…that pretty much hits the nail on the head. I love 5th graders.
As I am experiencing this and learning right along with them, what I want my students to take away from this disappointment (to put it lightly) is that no matter what challenges life brings our way, when we get our feet kicked out from under us, we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and start all over again (are you humming it now?). So that is what I’m doing. Back at square one with an entirely different game plan…for an entirely different game, but with a renewed attitude of hope and confidence in the outcome.
When I think back to how truly dark last week was, it’s hard to believe that was me; it seems like it was someone else. But I know it was me. And I also know there will be other weeks just like that in my future. When I am in darkness like that, I will remember that there is lightness all around me and I will wait for it. I will wait upon the Lord to renew my strength, to mount up with wings like the eagle, to run and not be weary, to walk and not faint.* I will ask and wait. Waiting is not always easy, but there are worse things I could be doing.
So I’m back and ready to fight this battle to the end….and I intend to win.